


Holy Batrimony!

by VigilantSycamore



Series: That's how you know it's meant to be [1]
Category: Batman (Comics)
Genre: F/M, Fix-It, Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, Response to Batman #50, Wedding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-04
Updated: 2018-07-04
Packaged: 2019-06-05 04:32:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15162743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VigilantSycamore/pseuds/VigilantSycamore
Summary: It's the wedding Gotham's spent the last 78 years waiting for: Batman and Catwoman are getting married at last!





	Holy Batrimony!

“Is this tux too tight?” Bruce wondered.

“Master Bruce, every night you fight criminals while wearing leather and Kevlar,” Alfred replied. “I _think_ you’ll be fine.”

“Alfred’s right,” Clark agreed. “You’re just nervous. It happened to me too.”

Bruce gave Clark a look. “I find that hard to believe. I’ve seen you and Lois together.”

“Bruce, I’ll tell you a secret: the day Lois and I got married, I was more nervous than I’d ever been in my life, and it was _because_ of how Lois and I are together. I was nervous that something would go wrong and we’d lose our chance. That’s how you _know_ it’s meant to be.”

“I’m not nervous,” Bruce insisted. “Batman doesn’t get nervous.”

“Bruce, I can _hear_ your heartbeat. You’re nervous.”

“Fine, maybe I’m nervous,” Bruce admitted. “But don’t tell anyone.”

****

“All right, maybe I _am_ nervous,” Selina admitted. “I mean, he’s a vigilante and I’m a thief – what if that causes problems?”

“You’ll figure it out,” Eiko reassured her. “Besides, you both break the law. The only difference is which _parts_ of it you break.”

“Yeah, look at it that way,” Holly said. “You’re _both_ criminals with heroic tendencies.”

“I still can’t believe that you’re marrying someone who has a machine to put his pants on in the car,” Harley said.

“Wait, Batman has a _what_?” Holly asked.

“Long story,” Selina said.

“I’ll expect an explanation later,” Holly said. “You two are good together,” she noted. “He seems happy when he’s around you. It’s been years since he was like that.”

“Maybe once he cheers up, Gotham will get better again!” Harley said.

****

Bruce was stunned. Selina always looked beautiful, but now, when she was walking down the aisle in her wedding dress… “Wow,” he said under his breath.

There were a few decisions they’d deliberated over while planning the wedding. First, who would walk Selina down the aisle – eventually they settled on Alfred. Aside from that, there was the honeymoon location, which didn’t take long to decide, and choosing a priest to officiate the wedding. Since Diana was already ordained pretty much everywhere and already knew both their secret identities, they’d asked her. She was happy to accept.

 

Selina reached the altar and lifted her veil. They looked into each other’s eyes and smiled. This was it.

After a while, Alfred raised an eyebrow and coughed.

Right. The vows.

“Selina,” Bruce said. “Ever since the first time we met, I knew there was something special between us. You understood me in a way that very few people do. And even when we were on opposite sides, I could always count on you to catch me when I fell. You reminded me that I’m more than my tragedy, and that’s something I’ve forgotten far too often. You can count on me to do the same for you. Whenever you need me, I’ll be there for you. I know that there are things I’m not good at, but I’m going to work on them because I want to be the best husband I can be for you.”

“Bruce,” Selina said. “For a long time, I didn’t think I was hero material. I thought I was just a thief. You never agreed with that. You always thought I could be more, that I _was_ more, than a criminal, and you were right. You helped me see why I was a hero. Whenever I fell, you were there to catch me. So I promise you that whenever you fall, I’ll catch you. That I’ll bring light to your life the way you brought light to mine. I love you, Bruce. From the first kiss to the last.”

Diana spoke. “Do you, Bruce Wayne, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?”

“I do.”

“And do you, Selina Kyle, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

“I do.”

“Then by the power vested in me by the city of Gotham, I now pronounce you man and wife,” Diana said. “You may kiss the bride.”

They kissed.

****

The wedding went off without a hitch. The surprise only came once Bruce and Selina were on the private jet to their honeymoon, where they found a letter waiting for them.

Bruce opened it. “It’s from Talia,” he said, recognising the handwriting. “’ _Bruce and Selina,_ ’” he read. “ _’I’m so happy for the two of you. I’m sorry I couldn’t be there in person, but I hope this makes up for it._ ’” He read ahead and his eyebrows rose in surprise. “’ _I’ve taken the liberty of changing your honeymoon destination. Your plane’s now headed to a small tropical island in the Pacific. I bought it using money from the League of Assassins’ treasury. Consider it your wedding present from me. Have fun._ ’”

“Buying us a _tropical island_ using her father’s money?” Selina said. “That’s bold of her.”

“Says the woman wearing a stolen wedding dress,” Bruce remarked.

Selina’s jaw dropped. “You _knew_ about that?”

“Of course I did,” Bruce said. “I’m a detective. Great choice, by the way.”

“I thought you’d have a fit if you found out,” Selina said.

“A few years ago, maybe I would have,” Bruce said. “But what kind of husband would I be if I didn’t know how to compromise?”

Selina smiled. “That’s a relief. Now, unless there’s any more surprises waiting for us on this plane…” she trailed off and straddled Bruce’s lap so they were facing each other. “How about you get me _out_ of the stolen wedding dress?”

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah, this was my response to the twist in Batman #50. Which I am *not* happy about because you don't spent 26 issues building up the readers' expectations only to do that.  
> Harley's comment is a reference to the fact that in the Silver Age - when Batman was at his most cheerful - Gotham was a far better place to be than it is these days. Batman was idolised and imitated all around the world and crime and corruption were at an all-time low for Gotham.  
> I figured I should give some sort of nod to Talia, so I did.  
> What did you think? Please let me know in the comments below.


End file.
